Trying to develop a better outlook on life.

It’s been an interesting week. As the semester gets closer to the end, I am eagerly awaiting the chance for a change. I find myself, as I do each year, going back and forth with my eagerness to complete the task at hand and move on, and coming to the realization that it’s going to be another closed chapter in my life.

Earlier this week, I came to a humbling realization. I need to develop a better outlook on life. It’s funny how life changing things can be so simple, and yet, if you haven’t really been in tune with yourself, you can miss the forest for the trees.

The other day, I was in a class that I take on leadership. And we were talking about stressful situations that we all find ourselves in, and how to deal with them. When the topic came around to me, I went on about my job, as I am prone to do, and then went on a rant about various things I don’t like about my job. Whether it’s the people, or the environment, but when I was done, I realized that I went a bit too far, and perhaps needed to stop, and reevaluate my situation before I proceed even further.

I want to have a positive outlook on life. However I fear based on past experiences that I may be quickly devolving into someone who is not at all pleasant to be around because all he does is find reasons to bitch about one thing or another. I find this to be a trait in others I personally cannot stand, and yet, I fear I could be one of those people. (A truly humbling thought)

I am sorry for the tirade in class the other day. I’m sure the other students may not even give it another thought, but I went too far, and didn’t intend what I said. I really love my job. I love working in radio. It’s an interesting job in which we can entertain, inform, and provide all kinds of information to people. Quite a versatile medium, and where I work, being locally owned and operated has provided me with more freedom to work on the craft of radio than you would get in a corporate setting. (Being locally owned and operated is a rare thing these days)

I don’t know if I’ll always work in radio as it’s not a very profitable position (at least where I am now) and that’s just a fact of life. But I do enjoy it, and like working with the people, even if I forget to remember that some days.

Several friends of mine at the University of Findlay are working on a positive message campaign, and what they are doing is promoting the message of Keeping Positive and then passing it on. The idea being that if you are positive, that can rub off on others, and the message spreads, much like ripples on a pond. Is it cliché? Who cares? It’s a good message that needs to be told these days.

I really don’t want to be the guy people avoid because he’s always on about one thing or another in a negative way, so I’m making an effort to curtail some of my attitudes which have developed over the past, and finding a more positive outlook. I would encourage all of you to do the same.

I don’t usually hawk things, but if you read this, please follow @UF_Keepositive on twitter as they could use the feedback, and make an effort to find some positive insight. A beautiful sunrise, a weird squirrel, a letter from a friend, or an interesting story. Tag #keepositive on twitter and share stories on Facebook. 

It can’t hurt. You’d be surprised how something so small can mean so much.

Good news is out there. The problem is that we are not looking for it.

People amuse me. Sometimes, there is no comparison to human dignity and kindness, and many other times, I am amazed at how people react to much of the absurdity of life.

People, who know me, know that I am amused at those who like to claim that there is no good news in the world. They see the world as a smorgasbord of sickness, crime, corruption and hate, and then lament how there is nothing good. I take an exception to this. I contend that the view that there is nothing but bad news in the world is more of a reflection of us rather than the news.

If you feel like there isn’t any good news, it might be because you are only seeing what you want to see, which is more of a reflection on your worldview rather than the news itself. Case in point;

I run the social networks at the station I work at. Doing this (for no pay) has allowed me to get a glimpse into how many of us react to things on an everyday basis. Over that time, I’ve noticed that stories which are considered “bad” in nature (crime, courts, accidents) get more comments, likes and shares than those that are “good” (community events, kids etc.) and many times this is an absurdly amount more.

In the last week, we posted to our networks a number of stories which are considered to be not as hard hitting, and perhaps even “good”. Stories included pictures from the county Easter Egg hunt, our all night call in request show, a visit that the boy scouts took to our station and a retirement announcement for a longtime county official.

All these are good stories, and while they got some traction online, compared to other news they were merely drops in the bucket. Three stories in particular got my attention. A car rolled onto its top in the City of Kenton a couple of weeks ago, the Amish hearing on whether they should be forced to install modern septic systems, and today, a report of a shoplifter at Ace Hardware who was unfortunate enough to get caught on video.

Nothing earth shattering, nor really outside of the ordinary, but to see the reaction online, you’d think each one of these stories were the hardest hitting pieces of news you’ve ever seen. Shares, comments, and the nature of the comments astound me. I also love how people will inevitably see stories like this and resort to sayings like “Only in Kenton” or “Man, this town is going downhill fast” which makes no sense whatsoever when you see the other stories that get covered.

Seriously, there is good news out there. Some of us make efforts to showcase it, and report on it. It exists. I take exception to those who claim there is no good news. That’s a reflection of your values more than the news itself.

An interesting thought isn’t it?

An Interesting Event Today...

I smile at the interesting things in life. At least once a week, I am amused at the absurd or just quirky things that can happen to people, but today, I have to say, I was a party to something really unusual.

I am an avid reader of books. And I have been grateful for Amazon.com for providing a great method for purchasing used books cheap. You can purchase through Amazon or from them, and I usually buy used. Some people can’t stand the notion of reading a book after someone already has, but I don’t care too much. Most of the time, books which are considered “used” may have only been read once or twice so they’re really not in bad condition. Over the years, I’ve been able to build up a decent library of titles.

Earlier today, I was happy to receive another collection of books. Among the titles was Bruce Campbell’s autobiography “If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor”. I like Campbell, and have enjoyed watching him over the years, so I thought it would be a good read.

As I was flipping through the book, I was struck by two things. One, the book I had was signed by Campbell. This is not unusual as I’ve received autographed copies before (always a sweet bonus) but Campbell had signed the book to a “Brian”.

I don’t know how the book ended up in my hands but it did. But what was really interesting is what I found buried within the pages.

Tucked inside the book, was a note written to Brian, from a girl named Joan. This note was cute (and not in the way I usually mean) and she was telling Brian about how it was great to talk with Brian and how she hopes things work out for him. She says that they could catch up when she figures out what she’s going to do in college and to never forget SAT class. At the end she says she misses him and to “Enjoy the Pics!”

I got to say, this is one of the most interesting and weird things that I have ever been a party to. So, being the person that I am, I felt compelled to track down Joan to see if she remembered the note. When I Goggled her name, I found that there was only one person listed which had her name.

This Joan lived in California and worked for a shipping company as a district sales manager. The invoice for my purchase was from California also so I deduced that it would be a pretty good chance that this was the person I was looking for. I called the company, and was given an email address, so I dropped her a line.

Earlier tonight, Joan contacted me through email, and asked to talk with me, so I provided her with my number and asked her to call. She did, minutes later, and relayed the following story.

Joan apparently had known Brian when she was either fourteen or fifteen when she was living in Virginia. She was in high school and he was a bit older. This would have been around 2002 or 2003. He helped her with her golf game and they apparently took a couple of classes’ together, specifically SAT class. He is a couple of years older than she.

She told me that Brian is from Michigan originally and was going to move out to California to attend college, and at the time, she didn’t know where she was going yet. Eventually, she ended up going to college in California. I asked if they dated at all, and she said that they didn’t because he was in a relationship and was a bit older but she would have been interested if he wasn’t.

I asked her if she moved to California because of him, and she didn’t really give an answer so you can draw your own conclusions. But they didn’t end up together. Still though she said that they are still friends today, and that Brian is married and has a few kids, and seems to be happy. She is as well, given her position as a manager in the shipping company, so she was pleased with how everything tuned out.

Like me, she said that she finds the interesting and absurdity of life to be fascinating, and actively seeks out such occurrences. She was happy to talk with me, and said that I made her day by contacting her. She also said she would contact Brian about the note, so I may hear from him sometime.

Just goes to show how little things can improve a day, and the value in taking the extra step for others. Sometimes it’s just enough to acknowledge ironic or interesting things in life and appreciate what it can offer, if only we take some effort ourselves. The story ended on a good note, and it’s one that I certainly won’t forget for a long time.

BTW: Sorry guys, according to Joan, the pics were classy in nature. Much akin to senior class photos.

According to the expert, spring is coming.

So, today is Groundhog Day. Not much of a holiday of course, but at least there’s more to it than most. (Seriously, why is Columbus Day still recognized?).

Like some of you, however, at some point today, I’ll take a couple of hours and pop in that classic Bill Murray film of the same name. In the course of a given year, I’ll watch this one perhaps once or twice, but if I do, it’ll most assuredly be on this day.

This morning though, I got to thinking about it. The basic plot, if you’re not familiar is a guy who wakes up each morning reliving the same day again and again. It’s like a curse. Phil Connors (Murray) is destined to relive the same day over and over again. He meets the same people, has the same experiences, and nothing, not even death can help him escape this situation.

I’ve sometimes wondered what that must be like. And what would I do if faced with the same situation. If you have to relive a day again and again, I’ll guarantee you it won’t be a good day, and even if it were, how many times can you relive it before the experience becomes mundane?

Would I take advantage of the situation, as Connors does and try to sleep with all the attractive women in the town? Would I try to learn a new trade, or hobby, like playing the piano? Would I go out of my way to be a complete dick to everyone I meet because, hey, no consequences.

Would it be a pleasant experience, or a nightmare like in Connors case? I really don’t know. What do you think? What would you do?

It's the little things that matter most. Sometimes we forget that.

Actually had a pretty good day today. An old friend who I haven’t talked with in a while called me and we talked a bit, and I had my first glimpse at all my classes this semester. Some will suck but that’s life.

Anyway, a couple of things happened today that made me take note of the little things. I’ve mentioned it before, but I think that too often we are so focused on ourselves and our personal hang-ups that we forget to experience life and observe things out in the world. I don’t know if it’s an overemphasis on the personal, but you’d be surprised at how much world is out there if you looked around once in a while.

I don’t know why, but I always smile when I see a sleeping dog. Boomer has this habit of sleeping in each morning and he isn’t a morning dog. At night he can be quite energetic but in the mornings he’s kind of surely. But I find this to be one of his humor able traits and have often snapped a quick photo should I catch him doing it.

My first class ended at 9:15 this morning, and my next one didn’t begin till 12:30. Since it was so early and since I hadn’t eaten anything yet, I decided to head over to Bob Evans Restaurant to get something. While there I came to the conclusion that it should be a weekly ritual for me. I enjoy the food and have ample time for it.

While I was there this morning, an elderly man came in, and shortly afterward, his wife came in with, I can only assume, was his young granddaughter. Both of the adults were completely into whatever the granddaughter was into. She was quite cute, to be sure, and they all acted like a commercial of a great family out enjoying breakfast. Both grandparents genuinely enjoying the company of their granddaughter and she, likewise having a great time with her grandparents. It was a Rockwell painting if there ever was one.

Later, when I was walking to my 12:30 class, I came upon a squirrel on campus. It’s not an unusual sight as they’re all over the place, but this squirrel was trying his hardest to run with an acorn in his mouth. Like in the movie Ice Age, this was, apparently the most important thing to this particular squirrel, because as he ran past me, he darted for a tree but apparently missed and ran head first into the tree instead of climbing it. But what was funny was that, in spite of his colliding with the tree, he managed to hold on to the acorn in his mouth. That’s dedication.

And just now, a friend of mine posted a great picture of her and her son on Facebook. Her son is physically disabled and they have to go to the hospital for various things. While there, she said that he likes to go by this one section where the windows are multiple colors, much like a television screen. She mentioned it was his favorite place in the hospital because he likes looking at all the colors. Again, a great moment that made me smile. . I’d share it with you but I don’t have permission to post it.

I guess my point is, sometimes there are things in the world that amuse us, or cause us to smile. For me it’s sights like these. Even if I’m having a bad day, I try to remember them and see them in my mind. Perhaps it’s something we all need to so once in a while. Just observe. You’d be surprised how much of the world there is that you miss, if you never get out in it.

2012: Another Year In The Books

Well, here it is again. The end of another year, and once again, I find myself less than enthused at what has transpired, and less than enthusiastic as to what lies ahead.

Melancholy is the right word, I suppose, but as I look back over the previous year, it just seems like each and every year has been a repeat of the “meh” that has come before it. Nothing profound, or noteworthy to make of, and certainly nothing that I would look back on specifically with any sort of fondness.

Collectively there are moments, and I can also look at what has transpired in the lives of my friends and family, and in doing so, feel a sense of elation, congratulation or satisfaction. This is the case for any situation, and I always try to go out of my way to let people know when I think they’ve achieved something really special or have been a significant part of my life, whether they knew it or not.

So that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about myself, and how I view myself, where I am, and where I’m going, because, to tell you the truth, I haven’t a clue.

Looking ahead, I’ve got one more semester at the University of Findlay. While getting to this point has a certain degree of satisfaction, the fact that I’m older in life, and am only reaching this point now, makes the achievement seem much less significant. When a younger student, recently graduated from high school goes off into college and spend four years or slightly more working toward a degree, they graduate and it seems like such a great thing, but when a person, for whatever reason, has to wait till later to get to that point, it’s more like “Oh, that’s cute,” “Good for you” and more patronizing comments. I know this because I have heard it, and sensed it from people around me.

But more than that, I am conflicted as to what’s next. A person today has no time to look over the work that they just completed and take in its significance because all energies are cued in to the next step, the next chapter, or the next phase. Frankly, it can drive a person crazy war gaming the possibilities. And this is compounded by the fact that everyone seems to always want to know.

You want to know the truth? The only thing I’ve ever wanted out of life is to find someone special, and spend time getting to that point. Get married someday, and raise a family. What I do for a living is one aspect of who I am, and is nowhere near the total of what makes me. It seems to me that that the best relationships I know share this common theme.

And I know some might take that to mean that he simply wants to get married. Couldn’t be farther from the truth. I know enough about myself to know I’m nowhere near ready for that sort of thing, and I’ve seen the results of too many who have jumped to that point before they were ready. It’s not pretty, nor is a relationship something that can be entered into on a whim. It takes time, it needs cultivated before anything can come of it, and it can’t happen overnight.

Also, it’s never perfect. Far from it in fact. I have two friends who I consider to be happily married who, in the last year or so, saw a breakdown in their relationship that got to the point where I believe they considered separating. They didn’t, and god willing won’t, but it happens. So it’s not something that I take lightly. There comes a point when you know you’re ready, and for me, that’s a long way off.

There are going to be some changes coming my way in the next year. Some are going to be good, and some, I’ve been looking forward to for a long time. Others, I know from experience, will be not good, and some will simply suck. There’s no two ways about it. I’m not as optimistic as to what lies ahead as I have been in the past but I know it’s there, and has to be done.

Like I did last year, tonight before the ball drops and all the parties are in full swing, I’ll take a moment and take stock of all that has transpired in the last year. I’ll note the things I know now that I didn’t then, and the people I know now that I didn’t know, and I’ll ponder the possibilities that lie ahead. One year from today, things are going to have happened which will have brought pain, happiness, and satisfaction, and only I will be able to know which.

So Happy New Year to you, wherever you happen to be. Be safe, have fun, and take stock. We all owe it to ourselves to reflect once in a while, and today is as good a day as any to begin.

Christmas Eve 2012

Today is Christmas Eve. For many it’s one of the slowest days of the year. This is especially true for children. But I know, for many adults, it is also a really slow day.

I remarked yesterday on my radio show the significance of Christmas Eve. When I was a kid, Christmas Eve was a slow day for sure, but it was also a day of anticipation. It’s the kind of thing you really can’t know or think about till you get older, but when I reflect on it, Christmas Eve was really the day we’d all been waiting on for the entire year.

I know, it’s not the first thing that comes to mind, but it was, and many of our Christmas memories are tied into that one day. What I remember with fondness isn’t so much what I would get for Christmas, but rather the anticipation of what was to come. It’s kind of like, when you watch a scary movie. The buildup to the big reveal as to whatever is supposed to be scary is usually more memorable and thus more fulfilling than the actual reveal itself.

Christmas Eve is a chance for all of us to take stock in the work that we’ve done in the month since Thanksgiving. The entire month of December is filled with decorating, getting cookies made, delivering presents, and shopping, as well as spending time with family and friends at parties, or volunteering your time for worthy causes. The entire month is a smorgasbord of activity that we can get lost in the commotion. It’s nice, and frankly healthy to have a day to reflect on all that we’ve done in the month past, take stock and enjoy it. Christmas Eve serves that purpose.

There’s a song that I’m quite fond of by the group Blackmore’s Night. Entitled Christmas Eve, it’s about that exactly. It reflects on how a child views Christmas Eve, but it also takes stock in all that has transpired in the last year, and what has been building to the great finale. And like all finales, it’s always somewhat underwhelming. But today, for one day, we can revel in the anticipation of what is to come, and take it all in.

When I was growing up, some of my favorite memories happened on Christmas Eve. Singing in church, or being in a church play. Going home and having the traditional lasagna for Christmas dinner, and perhaps watching a Christmas movie. Looking at the presents and wondering what tomorrow would bring.

It is more so as I get older. I enjoy this day much more than just about any other throughout the entire year. It is a day when anything can happen, and a day when we can look back and bask in all we have done to get to this point.

Simply put, it is my favorite day of the year. I hope it will be an enjoyable one, and I hope that you will have an enjoyable Christmas, wherever you happen to be today.

Merry Christmas!