Reassessing where we are...

Well, here we go. One week left till I start making that daily trek up to Findlay and back twice a day. It’s so incredibly cliché to say it, but where has the summer gone? True, I haven’t really had a summer off for ten years, but still, it amazes me how fast time seems to fly as I get older.

A couple of times a year, I do this. I’ll look back on the past year, and take assessment as to where I am, what I am doing, and how much I’ve learned over the year. Usually, at this time of year and at New Years. When you consider the entirety of what has transpired over the last year, and what you have learned, it’s quite an assessment.

One year ago, I didn’t know many of the friends I know now, and others, I didn’t know quite as well. I have learned quite a bit, through school, work, and other experiences that I didn’t have then. I’ve seen things and been places that, before, I could only imagine, and they were not at all what I thought they would be. Some of my friends have graduated, from high school, college, and elsewhere, or have gotten married and are beginning a new life that was only a dream one year ago.

I have experienced loss, pain, and suffering, as well as happy times, great memories, and wonderful moments that I wouldn’t trade for anything else.

There’s much to do this week. In my experience I am never really prepared to begin another year or experience something new. Whoever is? But I am looking forward to experiencing it, learning from it, and seeing where it could take me.

I had an epiphany last week. For years I’ve been taking it easy, sort of coasting and not making too many waves other than the ones I was comfortable with. It hasn’t really gotten me anywhere. For much of the year, I would drift in and out of great highs that never seemed to last long enough, to depressions that never seemed to quit. It was an existence that only I could experience or control.

Then last week, I was watching an old TV show and something on it clicked for me. If you want to make a difference in this world, either for yourself, or someone else, you have to be willing to step outside of yourself and embrace life as it comes to you. That’s not to say you should damn the consequences, but you shouldn’t be afraid to take a chance, no matter how small, for fear that you’ll be hurt. I never really understood that till now, and now I have a clearer picture of what I want out of life, and how to go about getting it.

There are many things this year that will be new. New friends to make, growing existing friendships, trying out new things and seeing what can happen. It’s all a mystery now, but imagine where I’ll be a year from now and what I’ll have done since that time? I don’t know yet, but I do know, that I wouldn’t miss it for the world.